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LOS ANGELES – South Africa’s golden girl is coming home! That was the news that greeted Benoni residents this morning as Oscar-winning actress Charlize Theron announced her intention to return to the East Rand next month. “I left Benoni to follow my dream of becoming a star,” said Theron at a media conference at the Chateau Marmont on Sunset Boulevard. “I managed to become a star, so now I’m going home again.”
Speaking in her natural East Rand accent, the actress said she was looking forward to picking up where she left off in 1991. “Ja I’ve been in touch with some of my old friends that still live there and they all say that absolutely nothing has changed in Benoni since I left,” said Theron, adding, “I’m flippen’ excited.” Theron, who starred in a string of hit films from 1997 – 2012 and won an Oscar for her portrayal of serial killer Aileen Wuornos in the critically acclaimed movie “Monster”, also confirmed that she would seek to rekindle her relationship with high-school sweetheart Jaco van Greeunen, now a car dealer with Ritzie’s Cash-for-Cars. “Me and Jaco have talked and even though I hurt him when I left, he understands that it was something that I just needed to get out of my system.” Theron was coy on her future plans but admitted that the acting bug had bitten and that she might teach drama part-time at Benoni High. A beauty salon might also be in the pipeline as the actress said she had picked up “lots of tips” from her days on set. At the time of writing, Brakpan Removals confirmed that they had begun the process of packing Theron’s extensive collection of furniture and valuables at her mansion in Malibu.