Multi-Talented Top Billing Presenter Able To Descend Stairs, Smile and Speak At Same Time

JOHANNESBURG – Take note ladies, Top Billing’s handsome new specimen is far more than just a pretty face. This versatile Valentino is able to walk, talk and smile all at the same time! See how effortlessly he glides down the stairs, one hand trailing along the faux-Italian balustrade. See that devilish grin, teasing us with those perfect pearly-whites. And watch his lips move – adjectives flowing like a gurgling velvet brook, totally independent of the range of other motor skills his body is currently engaging.

Certainly, as a precocious young foal he displayed his talents at an early age – entertaining visitors by walking down stairs and talking. Or talking and smiling. Or smiling and walking down stairs. But who would have predicted that even this gifted ingénue would one day do all three at the same time? Who would have thought that the recherché accomplishments of the all-singing, all-dancing, all-acting Fred Astaire would one day be eclipsed by such a rare feat of simpering articulate perambulation? The answer, dear reader, is that it is not for us mere mortals to dwell on the mysteries of God’s most pulchritudinous creations. Our place is to simply contemplate and behold, to bathe in the light of angels when they briefly walk among us.