Armstrong Denies Throwing Car At Reporters

TEXAS – Disgraced sports star Lance Armstrong was again mired in controversy after he allegedly threw a Ford Focus at reporters yesterday afternoon. Armstrong, who was stripped of his 7 Tour de France titles after admitting to years of steroid abuse, allegedly reacted angrily after reporters tailed him on a bike ride near his Austin home. “A couple of guys were shouting questions at him about all the banned substances he’d taken and what-not, and I wanted to ask him some things too, when he just suddenly flipped out and picked up a car and threw it at us,” said Rich Brewster, a journalist with the Austin Chronicle. “It flew right over our heads and went tumbling off into a glade – man it was so close.”

Police confirmed that they had found a crumpled vehicle in a forest 100 yards from the roadside, but at the time of writing were treating it as an accident scene. A spokesman for Armstrong, speaking from deep within a reinforced concrete bunker on the cyclist’s ranch, denied the story as a ludicrous fabrication.