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Outraged South Africans Demand Partial Truth About Meat Products

Outraged South Africans Demand Partial Truth About Meat Products

JOHANNESBURG – As news broke that meat products such as beef burger patties and sausages might actually contain goat and water buffalo meat, scandalised South Africans demanded to be told…

Noakes Bust In Sordid Hotel Room Pizza Bender

Noakes Bust In Sordid Hotel Room Pizza Bender

CAPE TOWN – World-renowned anti carbohydrate crusader Professor Tim Noakes has been caught after allegedly going on a debauched pizza bender at a hotel room in Newlands. Police say a…

Case Of Physically Disabled Athlete Grips Mentally Deficient Nation

Case Of Physically Disabled Athlete Grips Mentally Deficient Nation

PRETORIA – The shooting incident involving Paralympian Oscar Pistorius, who was born without fibulae, has this week completely gripped South Africans, who were seemingly born without self-restraint and higher brain…

Super 15 Preview With Umhlanga Housewife Janice Erasmus

Super 15 Preview With Umhlanga Housewife Janice Erasmus

It’s that time of year again. All the pre-season training has been done, the warm-up games have been played, and now we get ready for a never-ending glut of goddamn…

Reeva Steenkamp Killed By Boyfriend

Reeva Steenkamp Killed By Boyfriend

PRETORIA – Law graduate and model Reeva Steenkamp has been tragically killed in a shooting incident at a townhouse complex near Pretoria. Police said they were called to the Silver…

Zuma Whispers Sweet Nothings In Valentine’s State Of Nation Address

Zuma Whispers Sweet Nothings In Valentine’s State Of Nation Address

President Jacob Zuma delivered his state of the nation address on Valentine’s Day yesterday, murmuring enchanting sweet nothings into the nation’s collective ear during the joint sitting of parliament. “Jobs,”…

Israel Prepares For Invasion By Iranian Space Chimps

Israel Prepares For Invasion By Iranian Space Chimps

TEL AVIV – The Israeli Defence Force is on high alert following Iran’s announcement last month that it had successfully sent a monkey into space. Iran Space Agency officials said…

Capetonians Demand More High Speed Skateboarders On Roads

Capetonians Demand More High Speed Skateboarders On Roads

CAPE TOWN – Capetonians were up in arms this morning over provincial authorities’ intention to find and prosecute thrill-seeker Decio Lourenco, the now infamous Youtube sensation who broke the speed…

Word On The Street

Word On The Street

The ANC wants to ban teachers from striking, but teachers unions are insisting on a right to strike… What do you think?…

Stats SA: Number Of Douchebags In South Africa Growing

Stats SA: Number Of Douchebags In South Africa Growing

PRETORIA – Statistics SA yesterday reported a sharp rise in the number of douchebags in South Africa last year, saying that the demographic looked set to exceed the percentage of…

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