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Stats SA: Number Of Douchebags In South Africa Growing

PRETORIA – Statistics SA yesterday reported a sharp rise in the number of douchebags in South Africa, saying that the demographic looked set to exceed the percentage of arseholes in the country by early 2014. South Africa has historically had one of the highest global rates of complete arseholedom – at 13.7% of the measured adult population – but this figure looks set to be eclipsed by a steady rise of utter douchebags (12.9%) over the last decade.

Stats SA deputy director-general Kefiloe Masiteng said there had been a number of surprises in the organisation’s annual report. “It’s interesting not only to see the rise of unmitigated douchebags, but also a marked increase in wankers (8.3%), dickheads (6.97%) and total knobs (4.4%).” Masiteng said the figures, gleaned from the 2011 census and from analysis of field work data, focus group interviews and public opinion surveys, helped to create a picture of the distribution of general nincompoopery across South Africa. “In this rainbow nation of ours there are many colours, and some of those colours are complete and utter cocks – 3.2% of them to be exact,” said Masiteng.

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One Response to Stats SA: Number Of Douchebags In South Africa Growing

  1. Mercy Motimele Reply

    March 12, 2013 at 12:46 pm

    To the Deputy General Director – Ms Kefiloe Masiteng.

    We had a lunch with Prof Freddy Sitas from National Cancer Registry, now based in Australia, beginning of the year. It was a nice gathering and he wanted to know about most of us when he was going through the photos that were shot during the department’s chrismas party in 1996/7 at his place.

    You might still recall some staff members then: Jitesh, Henri, Marcell Terblanche,Brian, Reti, Karen Kotze the ophthalmologist, Mercy, Funani,Sr Shirley to name a few.

    It will mbe nice to hear from you KEFS


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