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Pretoria – The family of retired detective Piet Byleveld said they would no longer play the board game Cluedo with the former supersleuth after he again correctly identified the murderer on only his second turn. “It was the woman,” Byleveld reportedly said as he took a long, hard drag on the Texan plain dangling from his lips. “That fancy one. Miss Scarlett, or whatever her real name is.” Exasperated family members then say the former Brixton supercop looked out of the window and stared off into the distance as he proceeded to both pinpoint the scene of the crime and put forward a hypothesis of how the victim, Mr Black, might have been killed. “She did him in the billiard room. He’s relaxed, it’s his territory,” Byleveld reportedly said as tendrils of smoke slowly drifted from his nose and open mouth. “Doesn’t suspect a thing. She comes in, all smiles. Maybe that was the point. Kill him right there where he spends all his time. A cry for help, maybe, but also a statement.”
According to sources Byleveld then completed the final requirement for victory in the popular Parker Brothers game when he reached for the board, picked up the red marker denoting the character of Miss Scarlett and slowly rolled the plastic token between his thumb and forefinger. “You did it with a candlestick, didn’t you my beauty,” he reportedly whispered before chuckling softly and slowly shaking his head. Sources say the family then retired to the lounge to watch the crime series CSI but that Byleveld told them, “It’s the Mexican,” before going into the kitchen to make himself a sandwich.