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Capetonians Demand More High Speed Skateboarders On Roads

Capetonians Demand More High Speed Skateboarders On Roads

CAPE TOWN – Capetonians were up in arms this morning over provincial authorities’ intention to find and prosecute thrill-seeker Decio Lourenco, the now infamous Youtube sensation who broke the speed…

Word On The Street

Word On The Street

The ANC wants to ban teachers from striking, but teachers unions are insisting on a right to strike… What do you think?…

Stats SA: Number Of Douchebags In South Africa Growing

Stats SA: Number Of Douchebags In South Africa Growing

PRETORIA – Statistics SA yesterday reported a sharp rise in the number of douchebags in South Africa, saying that the demographic looked set to exceed the percentage of arseholes in…

SAFA Crashes Out Of Nations Cup

SAFA Crashes Out Of Nations Cup

DURBAN – The South African Football Association was knocked out of the African Nations Cup soccer tournament on Saturday night after losing to Mali in a dramatic penalty shoot-out. The…

Effusive Mbalula Heaps Praise On Wife’s Meatloaf

Effusive Mbalula Heaps Praise On Wife’s Meatloaf

JOHANNESBURG – Sport and reacreation minister Fikile Mbalula last night described a beef and onion meatloaf cooked by his wife Nozuko as “an astonishing gregarious leap of taste explosions that…

Nervous Motivational Speaker Wouter Basson Imagines Audience Naked, Dead

Nervous Motivational Speaker Wouter Basson Imagines Audience Naked, Dead

CAPE TOWN – As outrage spread around the appearance of Dr. Wouter Basson – apartheid’s notorious “Dr. Death” – at a Kelvin Grove member’s luncheon earlier this week, we gained exclusive insights into how the…

Something Something New Age Zille Gupta Blah Blah Blah

Something Something New Age Zille Gupta Blah Blah Blah

JOHANNESBURG – The back-and-forth spat between Helen Zille and the New Age took yet another turn when… I don’t know? Something about the Guptas? Or a donation to a newspaper.…

Bear Grylls Prefers Taste Of Cameraman’s Pee

Bear Grylls Prefers Taste Of Cameraman’s Pee

UTAH – “Tea time!” says hard-boiled survivalist Bear Grylls as he climbs onto a rocky outcrop and shakes the dust from his bandana. Long-time collaborator and cameraman Simon Reay quickly…

Movie Review With Brett van Rooyen, Bouncer At Azure Nightclub In Randburg

Movie Review With Brett van Rooyen, Bouncer At Azure Nightclub In Randburg

LES MISERABLES Okes, this movie is lank tit. The name tunes like it’s a French art film, like about lesbians or something, but it’s not. The plot actually schemes more…

“Malema” Was Leon Schuster This Whole Time

“Malema” Was Leon Schuster This Whole Time

JOHANNESBURG – Mischievous prankster Leon Schuster pulled back the curtain on his most fiendish prank yet when he revealed yesterday that notorious agitator “Julius Malema” had been him all along.…

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